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Manifesting and Ripe timing: what happens when you stop pushing and forcing and allow things to bloom naturally?

9/5/2022

Do you believe things happen for a reason at just the perfect time?
Or do you think, for things to actually happen, you need to push and make them grow and come into bloom?

In January 2022, while recording a video for the Ready Set Grow program, I stated the LifeGardener book was due to come out in April. It didn’t. In fact, it was five more months until the book fully bloomed and I was able to share it – September 1, 2022. The book idea was seeded two years before when I began writing my first draft as part of a writer’s group mentoring program called Manuscript Mastery, under the guidance of the highly skilled Emma Franklin Bell. If I knew back then it’d be two years before I held my book in my hands, I might have given up.
But this book journey has reaffirmed my belief in the power of ‘Ripe Timing’ – that many things in our life, no matter how we push them to happen, have a way of blossoming at just the ‘right’ time.

Have you ever said to yourself: ‘Wow, I am so glad that didn’t happen until right now,” then felt deeply grateful for all the things beyond your control that delayed the blossoming? It all just seems to make sense that this thing happens right now.

Here are three ‘ripe timing’ events from my own life:

My book was delayed for many reasons – moving house, Covid lockdowns, busy work periods, family accidents and illness, availability of my proofreader, illustrator and designer. In some cases, these delays were several months long. When I sat back down with my manuscript after months away from it, I had a fresh new perspective and as a result, I deepened by writing and rewrote the whole front section. As it turned out the blossoming of the book in spring (September 1) just felt right!
My first mortgage took 50 years – I spent most of my life as a tenant, renting my home and avoiding the stress and burden of a mortgage. There were many reasons I wasn’t ‘ready’ to carry the responsibility of mortgage repayments. When Guy and I put the key in the door of our south coast home I had a rush of magic sweep through me. I wasn’t just feeling into the excitement, but the ripe timing. I was ready. We were ready. And as far timing goes, you couldn’t get any riper. The market went skywards just after we settled in that first week of lockdown in March 2020.
Working for myself was a scary idea – In April 2022, after more than 12 months of thinking about it, I finally took the leap and left the security of my full-time job to start my own contracting business. I delayed because around the time I was going to leave, another staff member left. I wanted to do the right thing by my manager and not leave her short staffed. But I was looking for excuses to stay. I was scared that, despite there being a lot of demand for contractors in my field, I wouldn’t find work. The thought of not being able to support my family and pay the mortgage was frightening. My waiting turned out to be perfect. Not only did I feel good about not leaving my manager short-staffed, but the day I resigned I got a call with a six-month contract offer.

Ripe timing is about YOU being ready
In all of the examples above, the ‘ripe timing’ came about because I was ripe and ready too. I wasn’t sitting back just wishing my dreams would magically manifest. I was getting ready. I was taking my steps and paying attention to the opportunities for ripening.
For fruit to ripen, the soil needs to hold just the right nutrients for growth. And the conditions need to be right – just enough rain or water and sunshine.
This way of nature is no different in us than the fruit tree.

‘Ripe timing’ isn’t about surrendering your will and responsibility to the will of nature, or a convenient excuse for procrastination. It’s an understanding that when we grow and cultivate things in our life we are actually co-creating. Nothing in our lives happens purely by our own hand.
Cultivating is the LifeGardener version of manifesting, and requires consciousness and the willingness to take responsibility for your own part while acting in tune with the rhythms and cycles of nature. It’s about both planting your own steps and trusting nature’s ‘Ripe’ timing.

How do you know when the time is ripe?
Next time you can feel yourself pushing hard to make something happen by force, pause and ask yourself why this feels so hard. Give yourself time to answer the question and feel into the energy within yourself and surrounding this project or task.
Ask yourself:

Why does this thing have to happen?
Is it something I really want to happen?
Is there a way of stepping back and finding the natural ‘ripe timing’ for this to happen?
Am I wiling to let this be for now?

Just observe what arises within you as you answer these questions.

Take a few moments to reflect on the times in your life when you did trust the timing was ‘ripe’ and allowed something to blossom naturally in yourself or your life. FEEL into that so that, next time you notice yourself pushing hard, you can choose that feeling once again and reconnect to the co-creation of ‘ripe timing.’

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Walking 'The Listening Path': Listen well and grow deeper, richer relationships

4/1/2022

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When my daughter Amy was six years old she shared some of her wisdom with me: "Mum, she said, "did you know we are all connected, deep underground. Even people in different parts of the world with different coloured skin, are connected way underground at the roots." I felt her wisdom as truth in the deepest part of me.

Today, far from the innocence and wisdom of her early years, I see her truth mirrored in so many aspects of life - this desire to fight for and feel connected, feel heard. Even at work in my recently retired corporate role - community engagement - the thing I recall most strongly is the frustration, anger, even despair, from people whose lives were changed, impacted or threatened by government or companies who just wouldn't listen. The issues and challenges were different, but at the core people just want to be heard, listened to.

Half-listening in relationships

Fundamentally, we all understand that the people we love, work with, spend time with want to be heard. We know this because we know what if feels like to be fully heard by others. But when life's super busy, listening well can be challenging, because to listen more deeply you have to slow down. What I tended to do until fairly recently, was to half-listen to Guy (my partner) or Amy (my daughter), often still walking around the house doing things while giving them a slice of my attention.

On the phone to my elder daughter, I'd often clean, sort or move around while half-listening. Sometimes when I call my mother, I can hear her clanging in the kitchen as we speak, or calling out to someone and giving orders. It's a bit distracting and I feel myself holding back on sharing stories. Yet, here I am doing the same to my kids, doing what my mum does (and said I'd never do #@%$).

My experience of being deeply heard in my life, and listening deeply to others, has been limited to situations when tensions and emotions are high. In a job interview the panel members hang on every word, watch you like a hawk. When you're distressed and crying, there's comfort from a friend who, usually chatty, grows quiet and still to hear and hold your pain. When there's a secret to be shared or a burden to unload, with a psychologist, in relationship counselling, in confessional or during a breakup, the listening deepens.

I recently came to realise that all this half-listening in my relationships, including at work, wasn't benefiting me or the other. Half listening to instructions for a task means the job will probably be half done. Half listening to my daughter won't allow her heart to open, her emotions to release, us to truly connect. If I'm only half-listening to my partner half the time, I shouldn't be surprised if our relationship doesn't feel whole, rich and fulfilling.

Listening well changes everything

According to Julia Cameron, author of The Listening Path - the Creative Art of Attention', "Listening with our heart, rather than out intellect, we are able to capture our partner's truth. Listening with our heart, we practice empathy, the secret ingredient to true understanding." She insists listening is a two way street, (I'm thinking of 6 year old Amy's deep root connection here), that when we listen closely and invite listening in return, "...our contact with others becomes deeper, less superficial. We become more authentically ourselves, and others often do likewise."

My own recent experience is testament to this. Listening to my daughters and partner without moving about, shifting and sorting things, takes patience and stillness, but the richness is deep and true. Staying in the room and the conversation until all feel heard, felt, complete, is not always easy, not always possible, but it's a beautiful aspiration. I'm noticing both my daughters open up and share more and assert their independence, telling me quite clearly when they no longer need me in the room or my opinion. I can feel a shift in their confidence and I give less advice and direction and let them talk out their own emotions, their own solutions and direction. It's new for me...but better, richer and deeply worthwhile.

My partner Guy talks fast, thinks fast, and sometimes ends up three steps ahead of me in thought and emotion. We can laugh about it now, but for a long time we were in such different places within conversation that the connection just wasn't there. What was it that slowed him down and brought us back to a place of powerful connection? Listening. We're both getting better at listening for nuance, listening to the emotion and the need beneath the words and actions. And in those moments when we realise we're not listening well, because we're too busy, too distracted or too heated, we agree to leave the conversation to listen to ourselves and what we need, and return to a listening place a little later.

Listening with Loving Intention

Listening well does take practice, willingness and consciousness. You need to be willing to show up in the conversation, no matter how challenging. When I listen well, I can often hear and feel my own reactions because I am listening with my whole self to the other, not just one ear. This raises consciousness and gives me a greater chance of stopping myself from jumping in early with a solution, joke or advice, derailing the communication and breaking the flow in the connection.

One of the things I enjoy most about practicing listening is, once I make a choice to do so, I have to slow down in order to become present. You can't fully listen without slowing down and being fully present. Presence is so powerful and potentially transformative in relationships. Once present, not distracted or worrying about what's been before or what's coming next, there is room for deep connection and profound shifts in understanding, clarity, deep truth. I am passionate about Present Moment Living and frequently write about it, including these blog posts:

10 Signs of NOT living in the Present Moment and 3 Ways to Come Back +
Life's richest in the Present moment - there lies Freedom and Power

Sometimes it helps to plant yourself an Intention, even a loving one, when you are about to listen to someone. Perhaps you're listening to your partner of child or friend talk and you can sense they are anxious or worried. Rather than trying to fix or solve, you could set yourself the intention of simply being present and open, allowing them to 'talk out' what's worrying them, letting them sit with the silence between you rather than filling the air, letting them know with your body language, your eyes, you are here with them in this moment.

Be quick to Forgive Yourself and Others

When two people listen well to each other, beautiful things are possible. But, life gets busy, people get tired and cranky. There are times well even partial listening, half-listening, is difficult. When you react strongly, lash out, swear or dismiss someone who asks for your listening ear because you're tired, exhausted, with nothing left to give, listen well to your dear tired self and speak from there.

Speak as gently as you can to yourself and the other. Be honest with yourself and the other. Give yourself the space and time you need to restore yourself. Then you can be fully present for others. If and when you can, tell them you will be available for them soon, and need to rest so you can give them your full attention.

Forgive yourself for swearing, dismissing, reacting from your place of exhaustion. The quicker you forgive yourself and others, the sooner you'll come back to your beautiful centre. Deep listening is a practice we can all Cultivate, as is being gentle with ourselves and others. For when we listen, truly listen, we are Cultivating deeper relationships and giving others permission to grow and bloom in their authenticity and truth.

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Why most TO-DO list don't work + 7 ways to grow an Organic, Dynamic, Abundant one!

3/29/2022

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Does your to-do list work for you? Or are you finding it never-ending and draining?

I'll tell you why I ditched a to-list years ago and show you what I use instead - my DAILY PLANTER!
I'll share the 7 ways it works for me, and could for you too.

At one point in my life I was lucky enough to have three female friends in their 80s. I was struck by a similarity between them - it was a sense that, despite their age and the fact they were long retired from paid work, they carried a sense of guilt and discomfort if they weren't busy doing something. At first I considered it generational, part of the post-depression, post war, post women's liberation eras.

But I asked myself, if these women are uncomfortable not being productive, and I feel uncomfortable not being productive, perhaps there's something more to it. Perhaps it goes deeper into the sense of self-worth and self-value? When I'm not giving my time to something or someone, what is my value?

'Time is money' can come at a cost
If you have a paid job or business, spending time not working, not producing or creating something, can actually cost you money. This is especially the case if you're paid by the hour, or by the sale!

I'm deeply interested in this subject, both the practical and the emotional side of Feminine Productivity, which is why I created the Feminine Productivity eCourse.

My own journey, and the journeys I have witnessed in the women I walk beside, have shown me the need to do and create and be productive is common and innate - it's part of our nature. Productivity, seeding, planting and growing things in our lives can be incredibly satisfying and sweet. Here's one of my favourite quotes on the subject:

But for now, let's get back to the to-do list discussion...

Is your To-Do list serving you?
What I'm interested in exploring with you here in terms of your to-do list is whether or not it's serving you, working for you. If you think of your to-do list as a tool - a LifeGardening Tool - to help you grow and cultivate your life, how is that working (or not working) for you? Do you feel a deep sense of satisfaction when you tick things off it? Do you feel excited or energised when you look at it? Do you feel empowered by it. like it's helping you cultivate what you want?
If the answer to these is a big NO, you're not alone. It's taken me years to cultivate a version that actually works for me, doesn't just 'tick things off', but feeds my needs and helps me grow the things that matter most to me.

Are you growing what matters to you?
There are things we have to do in our everyday that just have to be done; pay the bills, feed the family (and the pets), put bread on the table and bring home the bacon. We need to meet our responsibilities to the people we work for or serve, the people we love and support. What I've come to see as my to-list organically grew and changed over these past two years, is my to-list is doing more to not only meet the essential needs and responsibilities, but to serve myself. I give my time and attention to taking action on the things that matter most to me and those I love.
For so long my own dreams, desires and needs fell to the bottom of the list. Then I realised there is always more to do. There are always other things, other distractions and other people wanting a slice of the pie that is your time and energy.

5 reasons most to-do lists don't work

It's static not dynamic and organic - The typical to-do list is just that - a list of things to do. It's one dimensional and doesn't tell a deeper story. When you look into the deeper layer's of what your asking yourself to do on the list, do you understand how much time and energy things might take? Have you broken bigger and more complex tasks down into individual steps. Just as organic matter in the garden breaks down to feed and nurture your plants, an organic to-to- list needs to be broken down into its smaller parts to feed and nurture your life. If it's too big, you probably won't do it!
It doesn't question Why you're doing what you're doing - It's amazing how quickly a to-do list can fill up with things, all sorts of things, without question. It just feels good and powerful to write a list, so why not write a big one, right@! That's fine as long as you see it as a 'draft' and take your time to question why things have made it to your list (more on this in the Daily Planter video below).
It's set up for Failure - What happens when what you've given yourself to do doesn't get done? Give yourself too much to do and you'll either burnout or feel like a failure for not doing things. Give yourself complex or difficult problems without breaking them down into simple steps will probably lead to procrastination and a sense of failure. If your to-do list remains just a list of jobs and your sense of self-worth, success and progress is measured in ticks, again, setting yourself up for failure.
It's about Quantity, not Quality - Want to live a deeper, richer, more meaningful life? Want to feel more joy and lightness and love in yourself and your life? Then digging deeper into your to do list is vital - to find ways to bring, feel and experience that richness. You'll have days where you're highly productive and get loads of things done. Other days, when you have a deep and meaningful conversation, gain a deeper understanding of what's been blocking you or holding you back, or help someone who truly needed a loving friend or a kind gesture. On those days what you did or didn't do won't matter as much as what you brought to a situation or a conversation - quality and presence. Time and box ticking don't matter in these moments.
It doesn't include you - If a to do list doesn't create time and energy to focus on what matters to you, then what's the point? If it doesn't serve you in some way, help you take even tiny steps towards the things that matter, including looking after yourself, then it's just a list of things to do, not things to do for you. Making it work for you is super simple and I'm going to share that with you now.

7 Ways to Grow an Organic + Dynamic + Abundant To-do list

I don't refer to my Daily Planter as a to-do list, more as a Cultivation tool. I use it to:

Create it 'fresh' daily - When I write my tasks for the day on the Daily Planter, I usually write it out the day before. I draw on any tasks that were missed yesterday or new priorities. I create a cultivation list of my for the week and - except for the tasks that need to be done on certain days - I can pick and choose from that list organically to suit the time and energy I have for each day.
Plant and grow (prioritise) what matters most to me - The weekly Cultivation List is based on what it is I am trying to grow and cultivated in my life. When you take the tie to do some thinking about this once a week, there's a greater chance that, rather than filling your time and to do list with random things, you'll draw on what matters most to you. Remember this is organic and dynamic, so there will be days when life demands your focus on something bigger or more important. You can return to your Cultivation List later.
Create or deepen connections with people that matter to me - in my personal and work life - I have room to write a 'Daily connection' on my Daily Planter. Is there someone I've been meaning to call, see or connect with that's been playing on my mind? This reminds me to shift from my busy, doing 'in the zone' to connect with others.
Water what most needs attention - to meet my responsibilities - Once I have my list of tasks, things to cultivate, it usually becomes clear 'What needs watering?' I'll usually only write just one thing as the most important, sometimes two. It's the one thing that, if things get super busy, I focus on.
Build rest and relaxation into my day - It doesn't happen every day, but I have a space on my Daily Planter with a question: 'When will I rest?' If my life is a garden, then I need to make sure, as the gardener, I avoid burnout and feel rested and nurtured. I usually write in a time when I plan to sit and read, meditate or nap.
Keep my list short, so I can focus on doing less well - I deliberately only allow myself 7 things to do in a day, and two of those are less important than the other 5. The last two are the 'if I have time and energy' tasks. And, if I don't get a task done - which happens - I arrow it for tomorrow or another day.
Plant a BE seed for the day - At the top of the Daily Planter I have what's called a 'Daily Self Seed'. The idea is that I write down, plant an Intention Seed, for how I want to be, what I want to bring and experience to the day.

(Daily Planter video explainer below with free Daily Planter pdf download)

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10 signs of NOT living in the Present Moment - plus 3 Ways to COME BACK!

3/24/2022

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I am a passionate writer and teacher on the subject of presence not only because I respect and appreciate its power, but because I know first-hand what it feels like to be UNpresent.

My hope is that by showing you some of the ways non-presence has shown up in myself, these may bring some clarity and truth to your Present Moment journey so far.

My father recently shared with me an exercise his art teacher had given his group while working with charcoal. She asked the art students to look an at object and draw the light and shadow around the object, rather than the object itself. He loved the challenge and I’m going to suggest we use a similar technique now to help you see what presence means to you by drawing on your experience of its opposite.

I am a passionate writer and teacher on the subject of presence not only because I respect and appreciate its power, but because I know first-hand what it feels like to be UNpresent. I realise with hindsight I have spent parts of my life living unconsciously, in a kind of slumber, showing up for life in my body, but being absent in my mind, heart and spirit. (Being present with my grandmother as she died reminded me of this).

Today I see my many experiences of non-presence as a gentle reminder of the power of living with presence. My hope is that by showing you some of the ways non-presence has shown up in myself, these may bring some clarity and truth to your life journey so far. Please be gentle with yourself as you read these. This sharing is not about blame or guilt, simply planting some seeds of awareness.

10 Signs I'm NOT living in the Present Moment

I have to ask someone to repeat themselves because I wasn’t listening, I was thinking about or distracted by something else.
I start writing my mental shopping list or solving a problem in the middle of sex.
I refuse to sit still long enough for my daughter to speak to me, instead asking her to follow me around the house because I’m busy with something else that can’t wait.
I get fidgety during a boring work Zoom call, turn off the camera and start on something else.
When I’m interrupted by a phone call or someone walking in while I’m in the middle of something, I feel my neck tighten, sigh audibly and want the conversation to be over before it’s begun.
When listening to someone speak, I butt in with my opinion before they have a chance to get the last word out.
I see every little unexpected interruption of my ‘flow’ as a annoyance, rather than accepting what’s happening in the present moment
I feel a general sense of unease, like wherever I am and whatever I’m doing, I should be somewhere else doing something else.
I start to feel fragmented in my mind, like a mosaic waiting to be made, bits of broken tiles lying everywhere with nothing ‘coming together’. (This feeling is quite common when I’ve been over-scrolling on social media or jumping from one thing to another for too long).
I feel anxious and in need of space and time to myself, get snappy and short tempered with everything and everyone. (This is a sure sign I haven’t been present enough to create spaciousness within and between the things I’ve been doing and the conversations I’ve been having).

3 Ways to come back to Present-Moment Living

#1 - Stop denying the Present Moment - Accept it
Renowned speaker and spiritual teacher on this topic is Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now and A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. He knows his stuff! He says the first step to responding to any situation is accepting what arises in the present moment. When something happens he suggests you say to yourself: ‘Ok, this is happening right now, this is what I’m feeling in reaction to this right now.’

It sounds really basic and unsexy, however, put this into practice for a day or two and I guarantee you'll feel a profound shift in your mood, energy, and potentially, your stress and anxiety levels. Over the next two days, every time you feel your mind or body contract in response to something you hear, see or experience, simply say to yourself: ‘OK, this is happening.’ Then, exhale, and take your next step from that place, the present moment.

We all struggle with something in our lives some of the time. Although our struggles might be different, I think the most common struggle we all share is fighting and struggling with the present moment, with the reality of what’s going on. It’s happening, let’s accept it, and claim our power and energy back. Remember, accepting the present moment is not the same as accepting the situation. You're not accepting bad behaviour or an unsafe situation, just accepting the reality of what happened in the moment - then taking action.

#2 - Watch and Learn from our Children
Have you ever yelled at your child for being too slow, too distracted, unfocused? Every adult human does at some point. One of the magic super powers of childhood is that children – for the most part – live and lose themselves in the present moment. As a parent this can drive you crazy some times. Just walk a toddler down a street full of trees, flowers and butterflies to see this in action.

There’s a Buddhist expression that suggests seeing each day and each moment with fresh eyes, or a child’s eyes, as if you’re seeing and experiencing everything for the first time. I’m not suggesting we all walk around mimicking kids. But they are a beautiful reminder of what it feels like to slow down, observe and experience each and every moment. The other absolute gem of wisdom to be gained from observing children is their energy. When a child emerges after being deeply engrossed in activity they are either super calm or super refreshed and energised - sometimes both.

#3 - Do just one thing at a time
The concept of Mindfulness has definitely become mainstream, but it's still tempting as a woman to multi-task in order to 'get everything done', then simply sip tea or coffee mindfully during your break. Science has shown us that multi-tasking is not only unproductive, but can leave you feeling frazzled, fragmented and dissatisfied.

In this age of digital distraction, focusing on one thing at a time is a rare and beautiful thing that can improve your mental health and leave you feeling more calm, centred and a whole person. I find it simpler to focus on one thing when I remove other distractions, especially pinging devices. Focusing on one thing at a time - whether it's what you're eating sipping, smelling in the garden, watching listening or working on - has the added benefit of a sense of completion and ending. When you finish the task or experience you can sit with it, inhale the sense of completion, or just the beauty of the moment, and savour it for a moment, before you move on the the next thing.

And let's face it, there is always a 'next thing' to do. If you're usually a multi-tasker, try what I call 'duo tasking'. Do two things at the same time but make sure only one requires mental focus so you’re not fragmenting your mind. You may already be duo-taking: folding the washing while listening to a podcast; planning your day while walking; decluttering while listening to music; chopping vegetable while listening to the news.

Whenever you see or feel the signs of NOT living in the Present Moment, simply come back. Don't come back because you feel bad, or that you've failed, but because it feel good to be here, now, in the present moment. It's a place of great power and peace.

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Life's richest in the Present moment: there lies freedom and power

3/22/2022

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Do you ever feel fragmented in your mind, like a mosaic waiting to be made, bits of tiny tiles lying everywhere with nothing 'coming together'.
Or maybe you just feel uneasy, anxious or impatient?

When I feel this way, it's usually a sign I need to return to living in the Present Moment -
to regain my ease, freedom and personal power.

In the late afternoon of February 23, 2016, I sat by the bed of my dying grandmother, Olwyn, massaging her feet with lavender lotion. It was the first time in a long time I gave my full attention to someone I love. I'll never forget the scent of lavender, the roughness of her heels, her weak smile, the wave of love among my family and the full moon that arrived as she departed. I'll never forget these tiny details because when I was with her and my family, time stood still, as it does in times of crisis and tragedy.

I was fully present to the events unfolding before me and the pain deep in my heart. I'm sharing this story to plant a collective truth seed: we all have stories of tragedy, crisis or heartbreak, when were so present with the beauty and pain of the moment we can recall every emotion and every tiny detail. We make a vow with our soul in that moment to give more time and attention to the people we love and the passions we hold deep and dear. Then we get busy and distracted by life...

There has never been a time of greater demand and distraction in the history of womanhood. Between the front door and the supermarket - between waking and heading back to bed - how many problems, distractions, challenges and demands do you face? And the 'smart phone' adds a whole other level of distraction. I wrote this because I believe as women we're all asking the same question:

How can I have deeper, richer relationships, be present for the people I love,
live a life of meaning and purpose,
and still have time to be fully present with myself?

Renowned speaker and spiritual teacher on this topic is Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now and A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. He knows his stuff! He says the first step to responding to any situation is accepting what arises in the present moment. When something happens he suggests you say to yourself: ‘Ok, this is happening right now, this is what I’m feeling in reaction to this right now.’ It sounds really basic and unsexy, however, put this into practice for a day or two and I guarantee you'll feel a profound shift in your mood, energy, and potentially, your stress and anxiety levels.

Over the next two days, every time you feel your mind or body contract in response to something you hear, see or experience, simply say to yourself: ‘OK, this is happening.’ Then, exhale, and take your next step from that place, the present moment. We all struggle with something in our lives some of the time. Although our struggles might be different, I think the most common struggle we all share is fighting and struggling with the present moment, with the reality of what’s going on. It’s happening, let’s accept it, and claim our power and energy back.

Can you imagine how much time and energy you will save
by simply accepting what's happening in the moment,
and deciding what's next from there?

Deepen Your Relationships
Listening deeply and fully to someone is a powerful practice that has the potential to transform relationships and heal wounds. The only way to listen fully is to be as present as possible. This can be hard when you’re used to ‘helping others solve their problems’. Trying to help can mean you usually interrupt and give advice. But holding space for whatever arises with no agenda except to listen well is a great and beautiful gift.
By staying present and open to hearing the truth of any situation or conversation, with the intention of acceptance and willingness, you allow the more hidden and subtle layers to surface and reveal themselves. This applies whether you’re listening to yourself through journaling or listening to someone you love.

Step into your Authenticity and Power
Have you ever made a quick decision under pressure you felt unsure about later? Have you ever spent so much time over-thinking a decision you couldn’t make one at all? When you bring yourself fully into the present moment, you bring your full decision-making power. You can bring your experience, your wisdom and your gut instinct into your decision.
It’s one thing to aspire to live an authentic life, it’s another to know how. One of the most powerful ways is to listen well to your body’s wisdom and what it’s revealing to you. Listening well to your body’s wisdom helps process the intelligence you receive and speak to others from a place of authenticity and truth.

7 Ways to Practice Present Moment Living

Stop multi-tasking – instead try either single focused activity or, if you choose to do two things at once, make sure only one requires mental focus so you’re not fragmenting your mind.
Start listening to your body – Pay attention to the tasks, people and situations that energise and make you feel good, and those that drain you. Look deeper into the why behind these reactions.
Lose yourself in what you love - Play with the Vertical Time practice, making sure you tell those around you you’re diving deep into something to truly enjoy the immersion.
Choose to Accept every moment – Use Eckhart Tolle’s ‘OK, this is happening’, whenever you feel yourself struggling with what is, then respond powerfully from that place.
Listen deeply to those you love – Sit still, give your time and energy to the people you love and matter, including yourself. Try to trust your presence is enough, and you don’t need to ‘fix’ everything.
Bring on the Yin time – stay attuned to your needs and energy and, when you realise you’re overdoing or overthinking, slow things down and create some Yin self-love time.
Keep coming back – Remember, present moment living is a practice, and we’re all just practicing. It’s not humanly possibly to be conscious and present all the time. So practice with lightness.

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Self-Gratitude: Feel deeply into your VALUE and seed what grows

3/15/2022

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Do you sometimes feel unappreciated for your work and efforts,
for what you bring to others?

Try Seeding some Self-Gratitude
and see what Grows...

Sitting in my favourite cafe sipping green tea, I notice a rare, yet familiar feeling wash through me - contentment. It's a stillness, an Ok-ness that deepens the more I sit with and feel into its essence.
It's like the seductive fragrance of frangipani, or night jasmine, that stops me in my tracks and bursts my senses into awakening, even for a few moments. So, as I sit in this cafe with this feeling, I following this blossoming to its root. I want to understand why I feel so good, so content, on this morning of all mornings - when I sat up until midnight doing the final edits an a manuscript for a New Zealand writer.

Then I realise my midnight work finish - this isn't a boast - it's something I very rarely do - is the very reason for my self-contentment. It feels good to finally finish the manuscript, after months of working closely with the author. The old (pre LifeGardener) me would have simply ticked the box - DONE - and asked what's next, moved on.

But these days I know there's so much
richness in truly feeling into
and appreciating the Value you bring.

The deep sense of satisfaction came from not just knowing the work was done, but from reflecting on the journey, these past four months, to get here (savouring both the journey and the destination). When I sat with and asked myself what Value I brought to this work, many things grew from the question:

I encouraged the author to stay the course when she had doubts about her own value, and couldn't yet see and feel the true value of her book for her readers.
I disciplined myself to finish the three rounds of edits, each with their own challenges.
I read the book with an open heart, so I could find the 'gems' within and help them shine by chipping away like a sculptor at the unnecessary words.
I was gentle on myself and took breaks away from the manuscript when life and family needed my attention or I just needed some good old fashioned rest.
I helped make this book so much richer and potentially transformative for the reader.

When I sat with the journey and explored all the ways I brought Value to the work, what grew was an even deeper feeling of Self-Gratitude for the Value I bring. It wasn't just about what I did, but how I did it, what I brought by simply being myself. The experience this author had was unique, because of me, how I showed up. When I felt into that for a moment, just sat with it, the feelings of self-gratitude and contentment were deep and still and beautiful.

My first thought was: I want to remember how this feels, so I can visit this place or deep stillness and contentment. My second was: I want other people to be able to feel this too, as deeply and as often as possible.

That inspired me to write this post - I could feel its Value!

Appreciate Your Work and Value
Acknowledging what you bring to your work is a beautiful thing. It feels good to be appreciated by others, so why not give some of that feelgood juice to yourself? Whether your work is paid or unpaid doesn't matter. I believe that anything that feels like work, even just at times, is work, including motherhood. Some parts of motherhood are joyous, and other parts just feel like work, because it is!

When your child, partner or friend, even work colleague, tells or shows you how much they appreciate you, how do you respond? Do you find it hard to receive their praise, appreciation or love, or do you melt into the moment?

Your response can tell you a lot about how open you are to receiving. If you're far more comfortable with giving than receiving, you're not alone. It's easy to believe 'women are givers', when you see and experience this around you every day. (Most carers, child care workers, nurses and 'giving' careers are full of women for this exact reason).

But, one of the gifts of the feminine is our ability
- and divine right -
to fully receive love, praise and gratitude.

Self-Gratitude Practice
Speaking from experience, receiving appreciation is a practice that takes practice.
So, want to practice? Try this...Grab a journal or notepad and pen.
Ask yourself: What am I bringing to this work or situation?

Sit with this Blooming Question, and let the petals of Self-Gratitude open as you write down all that comes. When you feel complete, read over what you have written and circle or highlight those words that resonate as the Value you bring...or add these words as they come to you.

Take a few minutes - or as long as you like - to sit in the feelings of Self-Gratitude and Appreciation.

Shifting from head to heart
This process, of asking what's growing in you from your recent experience, is called Harvesting in LifeGardener language. I teach Harvesting in the Ready Set Grow Program. Although Harvesting uses the mind to explore all that's been growing in you and your life, the most powerful part happens in the heart - when you drop deeply into feelings of appreciation and gratitude, including Self-Gratitude.

Appreciation is like the secret super fertiliser you give your roses to help them bloom. Imagine for a moment your heart is filled with roses. Next time you feel appreciated, deeply appreciated - by yourself or another - imagine roses and opening in the area of your heart. Let the feeling soften you, open you to receiving. Try imaging the rose fragrance entering your nostrils, deeply relaxing you. You could take some inspiration from Miriam Lieberman's beautiful song, Garden in Your Heart.

song by Miriam Lieberman from the album birds of the Moon available for download on itunes or get a copy of the album from the website - www.miriamlieberman.com.au and follow the music

Like what's been seeded here?

Find out more about Harvesting and my Ready Set Grow Program

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Lyndal Edwards